When you have been let down by love, you may not know which path to take.
It is not always easy to follow your heart when it comes to love. You risk everything to find true love.
is unable to trust after every injury. You stop believing in others, but you also lose faith in you – Your decisions, feelings and intuition.
Here is a post written by Soo Takiguchi, aka Mind Full Bloom. You are welcome to write for Share to Inspire.
Table of contents
Don’t follow your heart
In general, following your heart means that you should let your feelings guide your actions. You are prone to falling in love too quickly, or giving away too much.
As noble as it may sound, wearing your heart out might not be the best idea.
Find Balance
Let your heart guide you, and passion will follow. But not permanent love. Love is not enough to decide if someone can be your long-term companion.
Soulmates are people with whom you share a strong connection on every level: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual.
To follow your heart or head? You need to learn to balance the mind and heart to make good decisions about love.
This won’t ensure that you never hurt yourself again. You will save time by figuring out if someone’s not the right one.
How our hearts can mislead us in love
You ignore red flags
The red flags will tell you if someone isn’t ready to be in a relationship. You may find that the person is untrustworthy or disrespectful.
When we are blinded with love, it’s easy to see only the positive in people. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but we should also be able to see their faults. We will then have a better understanding of who is.
You keep falling for the same type of person
Have you wondered why you seem to attract the same person or dynamic in a relationship? It could be a partner that is never there, bad with money or destroys your confidence.
This type of person is the one you keep attracted to because it feels familiar .
It is true that anything new will be uncomfortable, no matter how good it may be, until it becomes familiar. We also perceive things as good or comfortable when they are familiar. (Brianna WIEST, The Mountain is You).
You may be tempted to create the same kind of relationship if you don’t pay attention.
You must therefore make decisions that align with your true desires and not merely what feels right at the time.
Your expectations are unrealistic
In the beginning, falling in love can be blissful, but these feelings eventually fade.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that you will be miserable with your partner. It does not mean you’re doomed to be unhappy with your partner.
When we listen to our heart, we assume that a good feeling is enough to maintain a relationship for life.
Many people get confused after they fall in Love. If you truly love someone, you want to stay together for life. They assume you don’t love them if you split up. As a result they are hurt and feel betrayed. “People do not understand that love alone isn’t enough” (John Gray Ph.D. Mars and Venus on Date).
It’s not important how someone makes us feel, but how they respond and react when we are feeling our worst.
Myths and misconceptions about Following Your Head
It’s okay to be yourself
Stop letting the heartstrings pull you in every direction. This doesn’t mean that you need to change .
You don’t need to be rigid and mean if you are an emotionally-driven person. This is not about hiding your real self. It’s more about making choices from an integrated, larger part of you. You need to use your brain too.
Do not suppress your feelings
Listening to your emotions is important. We can learn so much from them. We often get them wrong.
What’s inside your head is what you feel. When we experience love, we are allowing our minds to be filled with loving thoughts. Following your heart vs. your head doesn’t mean you have to block out your feelings.
Bad decisions are often based on emotional thinking
When making decisions that are important, we should consider our feelings but not solely rely on them. We’ll make poor decisions that we will regret.
If we are feeling bad, it doesn’t mean we have to change our direction or stop doing what we’re currently doing. Negative emotions are often a result of negative beliefs you have to release.
Balance between following your heart and mind
Avoid emotional decisions
It’s perfectly fine to let your heart be the driving force in your dating. It’s a bad idea to let it determine your dating decisions.
We are prone to making emotional decisions that lead us:
- Jump too quickly into serious relationships
- We can’t act on the basis of our unhealed past trauma
- You can’t judge someone based on their feelings.
- Maintaining personal standards and boundaries
Step back
We often rush through the process of getting to know someone. When we meet someone new, it’s easy to want to jump ahead and enjoy all of the positive feelings.
We must also learn not to rush into forming new relationships. We will skip important steps such as:
- Setting boundaries and expectations
- Communication of our needs is important
- Finding out someone’s real character
- Aligning our values
Take a moment to think before you make rash decisions. Your decision making process should be slowed down. You can take your time before you commit to a relationship.
A worthy partner is one who will not force you to make rash decisions and respects your decision-making process.
Self-reflection
Take time to journal or ruminate. Question the deeper reasons for your emotions. You can indulge your doubts, and then question whether they are valid.
Know the reasons behind your feelings. If you are attracted to someone who has been warned by friends, consider what you like about that person.
Ask yourself: Is this someone you want to be in a relationship or just looking for a boost of validation?
If you are tempted to jump into a relationship quickly, consider whether it is motivated by fear or love. You’re more likely to make poor decisions if you are motivated by fear.
Hear your doubts
Our hearts may be full of optimism, but our minds are often more cynical. Doubt is not always bad.
You should listen as well to your feelings as to your doubts. You don’t need to take immediate action on your doubts.
Be aware of any doubts you may have about the character or intentions of your lover. Do not just listen to their words, but also observe their behavior.
Some doubts may be unfounded. Sometimes they are right and can save you time by preventing the purchase of the wrong product.
All doubts are not bad
It doesn’t mean that the relationship will not work out if you are having doubts. It can also highlight some of the areas where you may be struggling.
You may be dating someone for the first time, and your doubts are nagging you. Your love interest is clearly not very good with managing money. You can decide if this flaw is something you are willing to work with or accept.
Be Ready to Walk Away
Find your soulmate also means having the courage to leave those that are not right for you. Our heads may give us reasons for walking away but it is our hearts which gives us the courage to take action and to believe that there will be someone better for us.
It is unrealistic or unhealthy to stay with someone regardless of what they do. It is not unconditional love to stay with someone, no matter what they do. It shows you are not loving of yourself.