A Polish proverb says that “old habits are hard to break”. This adage is probably familiar to most people. What if the bad habit is hard to break? It could even be more difficult to stop if you have been romantically attached for some time. All of us have bad habits which at first seem to be beneficial but are actually damaging our relationships. We can’t always pinpoint the problem. Below, you will find a list of bad habits in relationships that may be affecting your relationship right now and ways to change them.
You need to stop these 20 bad habits in your relationship right away.
You can break bad relationship habits
1. Avoiding Conflicts
When a conflict arises, our knee-jerk response is to avoid it. We are unwilling to face it. We fear that it will cause cracks in our relationships with our partners.
We didn’t know it, but by resolving conflicts we can increase our trust and intimacy with one another.
HOW IT WORKS: Rather than avoiding conflict, accept it. Allow it to flow. Allow it to happen the way it is supposed to for a better resolution. Remember that disagreements and conflicts are a normal part of any relationship.
Talk to your partner when things are difficult. Keep an open and willing mind. Fight fire with water instead of fire. Listen carefully and try to understand what they mean. Listening is important.
2. Jealousy as an act of aggression
Unfounded jealousy can damage a relationship. You may make decisions that you later regret. Your agitation increases and you become paranoid. This will prevent your partner from enjoying the freedom that he is entitled to.
HOW BREAK IT : In order to minimize the jealousy of your partner, Learn how to be honestto him. It is important to share your uncomfortable feelings with someone you love.
Your partner will assure you there’s nothing to be jealous of, as he is understanding. You can also view jealousy in the context of achieving a goal. Insecurities can cause jealousy, so you may need to deal with them. It’s best to address this one first.
3. What is the danger of spending too much time together?
Spending too much time together isn’t healthy. It is important to spend some time together, but not all the time. It is unhealthy to spend all your time together, ignoring the rest of the world.
If you don’t have time for those around you, you run the risk of them losing you.
HOW CAN YOU BREAK IT? You should set aside some time to spend with your family or friends.
Spend one or two hours a day with your partner. You can even invite your partner to join you. So, you can break your habit of always being with your partner.
4.Blaming
One of the main reasons for relationship breakdown is our habitual tendency to blame each other when life gets tough or doesn’t work out as planned. We are always looking for someone to blame. Instead of admitting our mistake, we blame our partner.
The act of blaming does nothing. We should therefore learn to accept responsibility for our own mistakes. It is important to apologize and take full responsibility for our mistakes.
Compassion for others is also helpful. Instead of blaming others, talk to them and resolve the issue.
5. Comparison of relationships
There is no relationship that’s the same. Comparing your relationship with your past or another relationship would be unfair. You are as individual as they are and what you perceive isn’t what it appears to be.
HOW CAN YOU BREAK IT? In order to minimize when comparing yourself with others you should highlight your positive attributes. You could also use your jealousy to inspire your next vacation by using other couples’ stories as inspiration.
Apply what you learn to your relationship. Amy, from Finding the Fearless Life also shares her insights on How to Stop Comparing Your Life to Others
6. Too emotionally dependent
We turn to each other for support from time to time. Our partner shares our burdens and frustrations. It is normal, but too much dependence on emotions is not. This can make the relationship suffer.
HOW BREAK IT : Take charge of yourself and your emotions. Recognize the triggers of negative emotions. Spend time reflecting and exploring your interests.
Meditationhelps, and I recommend it. Last but not least, remember that your partner’s emotional waste bin isn’t you. We need to learn how to take care of ourselves at some point.
7. Do not expect your partner to be an expert
Remember that we aren’t born with the ability to read minds. It seems ridiculous to expect that your partner can read your mind, and know exactly what you want. Assuming that your partner knows all about you seems unreasonable.
HOW IT IS BROKEN: It is best to express your feelings and ask for what you want. Transmit your feelings in a positive way. Do the same to him/her.
8. Not respecting boundaries
Limits must be set in any relationship, but especially one as close as this. All of us need time to ourselves. If boundaries are not respected, they can have negative effects on mental health or relationships. This can be emotionally and psychologically suffocating.
Understanding why boundaries are important will help you to avoid crossing your partner’s emotional boundaries. You can grow and maintain your energy by observing boundaries. Your partner is no different.
Your boundaries are just as important as theirs.
9. Taking your partner for granted
We have become accustomed to the company of each other, and our value for or respect for our partner has decreased. Even those who we once admired began to matter less. Our partner is now taken for granted.
This will damage your relationship that you’ve built over the years.
Make it your habit to thank him for being such a wonderful man. This should be done on a daily basis. Even the smallest ones should be praised. Encourage and be more loving.
Even better, you can surprise your partner. Journals are the ideal place to accomplish this. You can keep a journal of gratitude not only for yourself but also for the relationship you have.
10. Critiquing your partner too harshly
We know that our relationship will be either ruined or saved by criticisms. If done constructively then criticism is perfectly acceptable. It is wrong to be overly critical, even of the smallest “lapses”, your partner may unintentionally make. This is unhealthy and damaging.
What do you have to do? Reflect and step back. Consider the consequences of your actions. You may need to acknowledge why you are so affected by those mistakes. You can express your feelings without hurting the other person if you take a deep breathe. You must be realistic in your expectations. Everyone is not perfect.
Over to You
Each relationship is an ongoing work. Every day we learn new things. It becomes apparent that we have to give up certain things to keep our relationship alive. It takes time to break a bad habit. This is especially true if the behavior has been ingrained in you for a very long period of time. We can still try.
You can take small steps to eliminate the bad habits that could damage your relationship with your beau. We need our partner’s love and understanding to succeed. It takes two to make a tango. Let him/her know what is going on and work together to find a solution.